The Gift of Loving Your Nation

(versión en español)

Yesterday, as Costa Ricans went to the polling booth for their latest presidential election two of my great friends posted beautiful messages about their country: one of them, who was not born there and whose parents are Mexican and American, but who is as Costa Rican as they come, simply posted her country's beautiful flag; the other wrote an incredibly moving message about what an emotional and beautiful experience it was for her to participate in her country's elections. Both acts of love towards their nation reminded me of a recurring thought I've had ever since I moved back to my own country, Mexico: belonging to a nation and learning to love your country is a miraculous, beautiful and inexhaustible gift.

Popocatéptl Fountain, Condesa, Mexico City

I came into this world as a bi-national creature, a product of the uncomfortable and oftentimes violent collision between two large nations in the Americas. I was born in Juárez, Mexico and grew up most of my life in the U.S., mostly in South Florida. After years of attempting to belong in one place and then the other and never fully accomplishing it, I became exhausted and simply gave up: no soy ni de aquí, ni de allá...(I am neither from here, nor from there)...At that point in my life, I had the opportunity to live in two other wonderful countries, the Dominican Republic and Colombia, and it became apparent to me during that time that I was happier in Latin America, that it felt more natural, more at home being Latin American than from the US, even as I cherished, too, the inner gringoness that in so many ways defines me to this day. And so, after many years of jumping from one country to another, I decided to move back to Mexico, my homeland and to accept it with all its virtues and flaws and start loving it as my nation. 

Yes, I recall all the IR lectures about the rise of the nation state 500 years ago and also about how Modern and unenlightened it is to love your nation, rather than loving all of humanity in a borderless world. I aspired to that at one point, and at some level, I still do and I do love the world immensely, its cultures and languages, but I also realize now and am comfortable with the fact that loving your nation, your country, is one of the most beautiful feelings one can have. Our wellbeing as humans requires that we feel included, that we feel we belong to something and for most of us, beyond our families and close friends, we only belong to a nation. Of course, as with everything, there exists a dark side to loving your nation (plenty of wars have been waged on that account), but on balance nationhood and the visceral sense of belonging to something much greater than you, the ability to contemplate where you stand in the midst of millions of people who share a common land, language and history, however false or contrived all that may be, remains strong and priceless. 

As I write this post, I stare out my window high above Mexico City, the capital of the country I chose as my nation, observing the thousands of buildings and trees and the indefatigably blue skies of this city, the billboard of a screaming soccer player from Mexico's national team...It all makes me feel grateful and proud to live here and to finally be a part of this country. I am infinitely grateful to the U.S. for all it's given me and my family and I wouldn't be who I am without it, but Mexico for me is concrete, it is undeniably mine and so damn overwhelmingly beautiful. There are few things in the world that feel better than sensing that I am a part of its history, its traditions, its culture, its art, its colors, its food, its festivities, its idiosyncrasies and incongruences, its lively streets and markets, its beautiful colonial towns, spectacular ruins and beaches...

Sunday bike ride, Paseo de la Reforma, Mexico City

I feel so grateful to be here right now, to be able to partake in this blossoming period that Mexico is currently undergoing and to see how every day roads, parks, neighborhoods, life in general here keep getting better and better. I feel grateful, too, when I walk outside my building into this magnificent verdant city, its lovely streets and palatial buildings, its Condesa coffee shops and delicious taco stands. I wonder, as I feel my skin being gently kissed by its sun and enveloped in the loveliest weather in the world, how I could ever live anywhere else. When I think about it and the love this country and this city inspire in me and all the effort and sacrifice my parents had to make so that I could be here today, I find myself incapable of controlling the tears running down my face. I feel so grateful, ecstatic, alive, whole.

Thank you, Mexico.